I woke up in the morning with the most dreaded thought.
It’s a morning to say Goodbye!! Our son who is 3.5 yrs. old; his dad kissed him while sleeping and slipped out from the room. We gave big hug to each other.
Up to this point….I managed this situation rock strong without shedding a single drop of tears. But then from my balcony, I saw him wiping his eyes and try holding back his tears.
It was the first time I ever saw him crying, we have said several goodbyes before then. But I always thought it’s a wife who is left behind alone, and it became a challenge for her in being patient, particularly when dealing with the common question from kids
“When’s he home?” – I don’t know.
“Why he hasn’t come?” – I don’t know.
“Have you heard from him?” – No!
“Has he spoken with u?” – No!
“Where is he?” – I don’t know.
How can you explain to your children that the father is away?
How can you help him cope with the constant change of a couple to one of their parents?
How you can be patient while seeing your son gazing for his pappa from the balcony and also the unhappiness once he does not see him that evening or the next…and more.
But I burst into tears when I saw him wiping his eyes and felt he is going to be lonely more than me. Leaving me and his little baby took a toll on him.
People think and talk about mariner’s wives so many times on so many occasions-how strong they are when their men go on exercise. They become a super MOM, super Women, super Wife and so on. I do agree! Kids might call them MOM but truth is they are MOM and DAD, House cleaner, home decorator, homework manager, teacher, accountant, bill payer etc.…
But what about that man?
….Who is going to spend chunks of the months 60m underwater and he will have no clue where.
….He will likely be working six hours on, six hours off for the entire sailing days that he is away.
….In a world of Twitter, Instagram FB, email, chats he will be completely incommunicado when out for sailing which can extend from 3 days to 30 days sometimes even more.
….He doesn’t know about his next holiday plans, family visit, because he just doesn’t know the sailing schedule.
….He will possibly not be spending Birthdays, Anniversaries or any other special day with his loved one rather with torpedo tubes.
….Proudly brings home his chocolate and milkmaid rations so he can share it with his family.
….He will sleep sort of a slender frozen tube as he is so use to, sleeping in an exceedingly narrowed bunk instead of a bed.
….Will not shower the complete time he’s been sailing, Except his ocean water swimming.
….No matter how long he’s been sailing however won’t be hugged by his woman once he comes back home, thanks to the smell-a combination of sweat, grease and then several alternative oils.
….And when he is back he will just say one word ‘all right?’ with that word he reassures us that he is the same person he was when he left. Then the answer I give – ‘Yeah, I am?’ and with that, he knows they are the same person they were when he left and everything is going to be alright.
Today as a naval wife I would like to say -Sometimes we get pissed off when he tells us he is missing our first wedding anniversary, or have duty weekend, or withdraw a movie followed by romantic dinner plan suddenly after a call, at that time he is equally sad too.
But that is not the sole factor you may ever be. Instead, some time as a Navy woman may be a role you play valorously, with style, with grace, with love. You trust that it’ll be worthwhile at the end.
So to all or any women who stand with a sailor, I’m pleased with you all! I’m supremely proud that I married a real man who wants nothing of life’s stunning frills, persists within the most elementary surroundings simply to stay his family and country safe. Despite the smell, a submariner’s homecoming is one among the happiest and overwhelming moments in a submariner’s wife’s life.
The day he is home is a day of celebration.
Thank you so much for reading my blog. Please share your thoughts if you feel the same as I!